We say this almost every year without fail. A brand new year always comes with fresh resolutions, new tasks and goals to achieve and for some of us, a new wardrobe :) Yet, there's always a tinge of self-denial to excuse ourselves from failure to fulfill these resolutions year after year. A new year brings with it the very prospect of starting everything on a clean slate, albeit sweeping the unfulfilled ones under the carpet, sometimes, for good. Gradually, the act of committing new resolutions on a new year has eroded to a state of no more than mere lip service. How often do we reflect upon our journey for the entire year? How do you rate your journey for 2012? Did you achieve what you are supposed to achieve? Did the experiences in 2012 surpass your expectations for the year and bring your life to a whole new level?
We are just an hour and 10 mins away from crossing over to 2013 and I'm thinking about my resolution for the coming year. Often so, we resolve to striving with sheer human efforts I.e. intensifying exercise regimes or shrinking the waist pouch just to indulge in that long overdue holiday in Europe. While I do agree that goal setting does have both therapeutic and motivational effects to propel and help refocus your life, setting unrealistic goals or setting goals for the sake of setting them just doesn't get you anywhere or would even cause your life to regress!
As for me, I just wish for wisdom to be bestowed upon my pea brain:p Now is a good opportunity to reflect upon my life, face and conquer my fears, revisit the hidden desires and dreams, redirect my priorities and savour the little pleasures and cherish the moments that life offers. Also, don't let guilt or regrets catch up with you. They are part and parcel of life and they can only make you more resilient! Alright! Let me throw myself back on the sofa now to receive 2013 with thanksgiving for the people around me and the things that I have and are going to possess :)
Happy 2013.
"Prince of Peace" or "PoP" in short, captures all the experiences encountered along my journey as a new mum. Encapsulating the different facets of a mum's emotions - the beliefs, fears, motivations, aspirations, disappointments, joy etc. of raising a child in Singapore and more aptly, in today's world.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
FTWM: Rid yourself of the Guilt!
The day finally came for me to report back to work. I have assumed a new identity for almost five months ( and counting...) and have pretty much enjoyed the role thus far of being a pseudo-SAHM. Perhaps I have crossed the line. As the days draw nearer for the parting, the struggle to detach myself from my current role grows more intense than ever. Every FTWM goes through this "rite of passage" - experiencing the joy of labour and basking in the newfound moments of motherhood to the eventual and inevitable separation from that little bundle who could barely flip yet. Of course, you can always choose to extend your time with your little one but the end is always in sight.
Transitioning into motherhood has had a huge impact in my life. It has transformed my perspectives and redefined my worth and values. But all these didn't occur with a snap of the fingers. Certainly, there were episodic outbursts of resistance- resistance to change. My hubby and I struggled to keep our sanity by setting a routine to systemise things. Even with the skeletal routine in place to frame and guide our actions, there were still room for uncertainty and nothing was cast in stone! The constant actions and reactions really threw us off balance as we struggled against the inertia of caring for a newborn.
We only began to see brighter days when we were more accustomed to the rules of the game. Only then were we able to enjoy the company of the little one, and not be bogged down by the mundane chores. Caring for a little one is no easy feat. There are times when I just want to go on an escapade and reminisce the good old days. I just want to go back to work and now that my workplace is finally beckoning me back!
For those FTWMs out there, I can totally empathize with your reluctance to go back to work. We probably feel consumed by the guilt of not spending enough time with our kids and not witnessing their milestones. I have this to say: set your sight farther and look at the larger picture. Jump out of the mindset of creating limiting blocks of " five days work week" and " weekends" and compartmentalising the activities that can be carried out or ought to be carried out on weekdays and weekends. Most of us dread Mondays and embrace the Fridays. We tend to narrow our perceptions and think that our time with our kids is finite because of work commitments. Why don't we start seeing our days in continuity where weekdays and weekends hold equal importance for us to spend quality time with the kids? Notice I mentioned "quality" time. It can be as short as five minutes to say a prayer with your kid. SAHMs may be the objects of envy to many, but some of them may not be spending time wisely with their kid. Consider a SAHM who only does household chores all day, just chauffeuring the kids around and letting them watch TV on their own. There is no value-add in any way. So, instead of devising ways and means to work less or to not work at all, why not look at things in a different perspective. See that you are just going away to work for the benefit of the family and that ultimately, will be back every single day to put your kid to sleep or to merely see them. See life with your kids as a continuum; you don't have to limit time with them only to the weekends and to lament about going back to work the next day on Sundays. The bottom line: don't let work monopolize your situation and free yourself from this seemingly bondage.
Transitioning into motherhood has had a huge impact in my life. It has transformed my perspectives and redefined my worth and values. But all these didn't occur with a snap of the fingers. Certainly, there were episodic outbursts of resistance- resistance to change. My hubby and I struggled to keep our sanity by setting a routine to systemise things. Even with the skeletal routine in place to frame and guide our actions, there were still room for uncertainty and nothing was cast in stone! The constant actions and reactions really threw us off balance as we struggled against the inertia of caring for a newborn.
We only began to see brighter days when we were more accustomed to the rules of the game. Only then were we able to enjoy the company of the little one, and not be bogged down by the mundane chores. Caring for a little one is no easy feat. There are times when I just want to go on an escapade and reminisce the good old days. I just want to go back to work and now that my workplace is finally beckoning me back!
For those FTWMs out there, I can totally empathize with your reluctance to go back to work. We probably feel consumed by the guilt of not spending enough time with our kids and not witnessing their milestones. I have this to say: set your sight farther and look at the larger picture. Jump out of the mindset of creating limiting blocks of " five days work week" and " weekends" and compartmentalising the activities that can be carried out or ought to be carried out on weekdays and weekends. Most of us dread Mondays and embrace the Fridays. We tend to narrow our perceptions and think that our time with our kids is finite because of work commitments. Why don't we start seeing our days in continuity where weekdays and weekends hold equal importance for us to spend quality time with the kids? Notice I mentioned "quality" time. It can be as short as five minutes to say a prayer with your kid. SAHMs may be the objects of envy to many, but some of them may not be spending time wisely with their kid. Consider a SAHM who only does household chores all day, just chauffeuring the kids around and letting them watch TV on their own. There is no value-add in any way. So, instead of devising ways and means to work less or to not work at all, why not look at things in a different perspective. See that you are just going away to work for the benefit of the family and that ultimately, will be back every single day to put your kid to sleep or to merely see them. See life with your kids as a continuum; you don't have to limit time with them only to the weekends and to lament about going back to work the next day on Sundays. The bottom line: don't let work monopolize your situation and free yourself from this seemingly bondage.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Right-brain Training: Need or Want?
To many parents' delight, one of Japan's renowned and critically acclaimed right-brain training centre, Heguru is finally setting foot on our sunny island. Never mind that Shichida has been the big bro claiming a chunk of the market share for years, parents are still enthusing and flocking to the new establishment. Well, I must admit that I'm one of them:p
It all started with right-brain cardinals such as Glenn Doman and Prof. Makoto Shichida vehemently advocating the theory of right brain activation at a tender age. Their claim was supported by years of solid research on brain-based learning which makes sense to me. The frenzy of sending kids to such centers really began when the Shichida Method School extended its franchise here. Since then, other right-brain training schools ( wannabes or unorthodox or hybrid ones) started springing out at various locales.
I attended a briefing session conducted by one of the three Heguru centres. Turns out that the centres are run by different franchisees. However, the fees are fixed across the centres and is the only constant variable. The quality of teachers and materials are very much under the mercy of the respective managements. Since the brand is making its debut and with such inconsistency, I was not comfortable in giving it a go at this moment. Furthermore, the credentials of the trainers are somewhat unconvincing. Some of them were ex-MOE teachers with a few teaching in the Secondary level while the rest are from the corporate sector. Being an ex MOE teacher myself, I cannot really agree that we have a strong grounding and ample experiences in educating very young children, let alone administering right brain activities. The exposure is very different - these trainers may be accustomed to mainstream and domain specific teaching. Perhaps it's just myself, I am not really comfortable... Oh, the exorbitant fees further justified and reinforced my decision not to join in the bandwagon. I guess I will just wait out until the establishment matures before I decide to enrol ILT.
Meanwhile, I will probably find out more about right brain training and its merits. I need to ascertain its benefits vis-a-vis the hype. For now, I'm inclined to the idea for I would rather teach my son how to fish than to give him the fish. This is akin to seizing teachable moments to inculcate lifelong values as opposed to sending him to expensive mathematics or phonics classes. Similarly, the idea of right brain activation sounds logical and why not? I should probably give it a try because I cannot afford to miss this window of learning.
Oh... What I have just shared are merely my humble opinions. You are free to have yours too! Do also feel free to enlighten me...
It all started with right-brain cardinals such as Glenn Doman and Prof. Makoto Shichida vehemently advocating the theory of right brain activation at a tender age. Their claim was supported by years of solid research on brain-based learning which makes sense to me. The frenzy of sending kids to such centers really began when the Shichida Method School extended its franchise here. Since then, other right-brain training schools ( wannabes or unorthodox or hybrid ones) started springing out at various locales.
I attended a briefing session conducted by one of the three Heguru centres. Turns out that the centres are run by different franchisees. However, the fees are fixed across the centres and is the only constant variable. The quality of teachers and materials are very much under the mercy of the respective managements. Since the brand is making its debut and with such inconsistency, I was not comfortable in giving it a go at this moment. Furthermore, the credentials of the trainers are somewhat unconvincing. Some of them were ex-MOE teachers with a few teaching in the Secondary level while the rest are from the corporate sector. Being an ex MOE teacher myself, I cannot really agree that we have a strong grounding and ample experiences in educating very young children, let alone administering right brain activities. The exposure is very different - these trainers may be accustomed to mainstream and domain specific teaching. Perhaps it's just myself, I am not really comfortable... Oh, the exorbitant fees further justified and reinforced my decision not to join in the bandwagon. I guess I will just wait out until the establishment matures before I decide to enrol ILT.
Meanwhile, I will probably find out more about right brain training and its merits. I need to ascertain its benefits vis-a-vis the hype. For now, I'm inclined to the idea for I would rather teach my son how to fish than to give him the fish. This is akin to seizing teachable moments to inculcate lifelong values as opposed to sending him to expensive mathematics or phonics classes. Similarly, the idea of right brain activation sounds logical and why not? I should probably give it a try because I cannot afford to miss this window of learning.
Oh... What I have just shared are merely my humble opinions. You are free to have yours too! Do also feel free to enlighten me...
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Forget about the nail parlours!
Make way for the much raved about nail stickers/strips! I've recently purchased a set online from Sally Hansen with much apprehension. Uncertain about its quality, I had a hard time justifying the disparity between the price and the nature of the product before convincing myself to give it a try. My doubts were unfounded and dissipated the moment I received the much- anticipated parcel. The colors were so vibrant, coupled with its superb quality. Upon closer examination, the strips were in fact manufactured by using nail varnish paints! Hence, they closely resemble the end product from a professional manicure session at a nail bar. I've attached a pic depicting the nail strips and how they look on my nails. FYI, the design is "Tattoo" if you're interested:)
Learning begins Now?
Blame it on our social culture, kiasuism has indeed percolated all aspects of our lives. At the tender age of just 2 months, ILT will be introduced to a variety of learning materials such as flashcards, educational toys etc. Perhaps, I should offer a fresh perspective on learning. The term 'learning' often send young kids and adults alike running for cover. I've seen cohorts of individuals - students and adults lamenting over the need to learn throughout my last 8 years of work in the educational/training field. It is only during the recent years that the educational arena was given a facelift and both the terms 'teaching' and 'learning' were redefined vis-a-vis the 21st Century construct.
Firstly, the ultimate value of learning should centre on the experiences garnered as opposed to the final assessment outcomes. Notwithstanding the value of learning outcomes, the successes and pitfalls that one experiences before arriving at the final destination culminate towards the shaping of how the individual perceives, internalises and applies the knowledge and skills.Beyond the application phase, the construction of new and meaningful knowledge is also envisaged. Now that we've identified experiential learning as the key to enable deep-level learning, we should then focus our intentions to educate our child by introducing the 'fun' element in all their learning. Always focus on the experiences that we want them to go through and ensure that these experiences are fun. Unlike adult learners who need to learn things that are relevant, little children just want to have fun and learn subtly. Regardless the relevancy, they will ultimately arrive on the intended outcome after having fun in the learning process and they will form an association between their experiences and the outcome. Perhaps, this 'cause and effect' type of learning works well with them! Of course, as the child gets older and is able to comprehend things at a higher level and to apply critical thinking processes; the same piece of knowledge then has to be reinforced by other learning processes such as inquiry-based or problem-based learning. To cut the long story short, there are other considerations in learning such as the social context of learning i.e. learner-centered approach, collaborative learning etc. which I won't elaborate now 'lest they bore you!
On the premise that learning should be fun, I would conciously avoid using the term 'learn' whenever I want ILT to learn something. Instead, I would say, 'Let's play flashcards!' One may argue that at such a young age, the child cannot decipher the meanings of both 'play' and 'learn'; however, adults do, and will subconciously impart the negative notion of learning to the child as we dread to learn. By the same token, we all love to play and using the word has such a therapeutic and positive impact on the things we do! Just a disclaimer, as the child enters into formal education where structured learning occurs, we have to help them differentiate between learning and playing. Essentially what I'm doing now is to impress upon ILT that learning is fun, just like playing!
Firstly, the ultimate value of learning should centre on the experiences garnered as opposed to the final assessment outcomes. Notwithstanding the value of learning outcomes, the successes and pitfalls that one experiences before arriving at the final destination culminate towards the shaping of how the individual perceives, internalises and applies the knowledge and skills.Beyond the application phase, the construction of new and meaningful knowledge is also envisaged. Now that we've identified experiential learning as the key to enable deep-level learning, we should then focus our intentions to educate our child by introducing the 'fun' element in all their learning. Always focus on the experiences that we want them to go through and ensure that these experiences are fun. Unlike adult learners who need to learn things that are relevant, little children just want to have fun and learn subtly. Regardless the relevancy, they will ultimately arrive on the intended outcome after having fun in the learning process and they will form an association between their experiences and the outcome. Perhaps, this 'cause and effect' type of learning works well with them! Of course, as the child gets older and is able to comprehend things at a higher level and to apply critical thinking processes; the same piece of knowledge then has to be reinforced by other learning processes such as inquiry-based or problem-based learning. To cut the long story short, there are other considerations in learning such as the social context of learning i.e. learner-centered approach, collaborative learning etc. which I won't elaborate now 'lest they bore you!
On the premise that learning should be fun, I would conciously avoid using the term 'learn' whenever I want ILT to learn something. Instead, I would say, 'Let's play flashcards!' One may argue that at such a young age, the child cannot decipher the meanings of both 'play' and 'learn'; however, adults do, and will subconciously impart the negative notion of learning to the child as we dread to learn. By the same token, we all love to play and using the word has such a therapeutic and positive impact on the things we do! Just a disclaimer, as the child enters into formal education where structured learning occurs, we have to help them differentiate between learning and playing. Essentially what I'm doing now is to impress upon ILT that learning is fun, just like playing!
Mumpreneur: Yay or Nay?
That's the question. We all want the easy way out - more time with kids, less work, more money etc. But, are we cut out to be a mumpreneur? This is not an easy question to tackle. While on the surface, it may seem like a rosy proposition to quit your full-time job and to start dabbling in something from home that hopefully, helps to bring back some dough for the family. Yes, we may all have grandeur plans in mind, ( "hmm...perhaps I could transform my hobby of jewerly-making into a multi-million dollar empire!") and starting up a business may be a piece of cake for those of you who are loaded and are able to pump in the capital. However, blinded by the initial enthusiasm, the enticing "bailing-out" from full-time work and of course, erm, a pair of eyes that unrelentlessly peeps over your shoulder, many made the grave mistake of delving into the abyss without considering the crux of the matter: sustainability.
I was reading through an article on mumpreneur, featured in the Young Parents magazine, Jan 2013 issue. The practical advices and experiences shared by the interviewees resonated with my thoughts on venturing into setting up a business amidst the competitors. Creating a strong market demand and presence are keys to sustanining your business and of course, sacrificing time with your loved ones and parting with your finances are also part of the deal. Unless you could identify and determine a niche for your plan; has a good network of clientele, understands the market forces to make them work in your favour, is prepared to sacrifice most of your time with your loved ones and has a surplus for the investment, then you may be ready to take the plunge.
Consider and weigh your options carefully. The idea of owning a blogshop selling kids products may be all too enticing for most mums and thinking that the set-up should be hassle-free since you are familiarised with online shopping anyway may be too simplistic for serious mumpreneurs. Remember, there is no free lunch in this world. You have to earn it.
I was reading through an article on mumpreneur, featured in the Young Parents magazine, Jan 2013 issue. The practical advices and experiences shared by the interviewees resonated with my thoughts on venturing into setting up a business amidst the competitors. Creating a strong market demand and presence are keys to sustanining your business and of course, sacrificing time with your loved ones and parting with your finances are also part of the deal. Unless you could identify and determine a niche for your plan; has a good network of clientele, understands the market forces to make them work in your favour, is prepared to sacrifice most of your time with your loved ones and has a surplus for the investment, then you may be ready to take the plunge.
Consider and weigh your options carefully. The idea of owning a blogshop selling kids products may be all too enticing for most mums and thinking that the set-up should be hassle-free since you are familiarised with online shopping anyway may be too simplistic for serious mumpreneurs. Remember, there is no free lunch in this world. You have to earn it.
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